Friday, February 29, 2008

Texas Independence Relay -- Intro

I will be running the Texas Independence Relay along with eleven of my teammates starting tomorrow morning. You can view information regarding the 203.67 mile relay race at

I am supremely confident.
Because we’ll win? No – We won’t.
Because I’ll run my best race ever? No – I won’t.
I am confident because I know my teammates and I will accomplish quite a feat by completing such a significant challenge.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I tend to run in fear. Fear that I’ll slow down, fear that I’ll miss my target time, fear that I’ll get hurt, fear that I’ll be humbled by the challenge, fear that this run won't be faster than the last, fear that I've reached my limit and will never improve, fear that I’ll finish the race and never want to run again.

Being a team member has not always come naturally for me. I was always the guy who wanted to do the whole project because I didn’t want to depend on others. I wanted to run the show because I thought I was the most capable. I wanted to be the beginning and the end. Yes . . . that’s very self-centered. It probably has its roots as an only child for four years, and eventually the oldest of four children. It probably also has a bit to do with my lifelong desire to be self-sufficient so that I never had to be a financial drain on anybody. Looking past that bad attitude, perhaps you can understand my fear of failure. In essence, I’m describing going through life without a safety net.

What changed? For one thing I grew up. Life’s experiences have taught me to trust more. I’m fortunate because it works the other way for most other people. But more than maturity, I place credit for my positive change on my marriage. It opened me up to the foreign concept of depending upon another person. And as the door opened, I realized it’s ok (and even good) to depend on others. It’s one of the innumerable blessings I’ve received from knowing Julie.

So I’m confident regarding my team’s task. Tomorrow I will run without fear. I have my teammates to carry me if I fall, and I’m willing to do the same for them.

(No running today . . . hit it pretty hard last night and felt a small knee pain, so I turned off the alarm clock when it tried to trick me into going to my 5:30 AM hill workout. I’ll be blogging from the road, so check it out.)


Kevin said...

Good for you, that's coming from someone who knows you from your "Hey Kevin, can I borrow your rope?"

Jonathan said...

LOL. What Kevin is referring to is an incident where I knocked on his door asking to borrow his rope so I could tow a car out of the lake. I guess the "team" response would have been to ask for help regarding my situation rather than asking for a rope to do the task myself.

Gaslight ;-) said...

Don't knock fear. Fear is a decent motivator, as is anger.

However, glad to hear your team-player identity has matured in recent years.

I do think, though, that embarrassment might still keep you from asking for more than just a rope if it were today. :-)

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