Sunday, April 27, 2008

Three Miles, Two Dogs, One Race

3.03 miles, 25:30, 8:25 pace, Max HR = 143, Avg HR = 130

The course was set . . . a half-mile out and back for a mile round trip. The three competitors were:

Sammy Joe -- First up to bat. Male, mixed-breed dog. Known for his quick bursts of energy and affinity to chase squirrels. Entered the race as the favorite with youth on his side.

Samantha -- Second runner. Female, mixed-breed primarily Black Lab. Known for her massive body size and protective nature. Expected to use maturity to her benefit during this race.

Jonathan -- Last runner. Male, human. Known for his fierce competitiveness. Expected to face significant difficulties during this race related to only having two legs. Has a slight advantage because he was the only competitor that studied the course map beforehand.

The Race:
Sammy Joe -- 9:23 (1.03 miles, 9:06 pace). Nearly overcome by an overwhelming desire to sniff, but felt strong over the course and refused to break away from a walk into a trot.
Samantha -- 8:53 (0.97 miles, 9:09 pace). Used her maturity as her strength, and ran the tangents on the course. No attempts at a bathroom break or interest in squirrels.
Jonathan -- 7:15 (1.00 miles). Didn't elicit the crowd response of the other two runners as the passer-by dogs, cheering from their respective yards, didn't seem to be interested in his smell.

The Results:
Jonathan -- Disqualified because he passed up the finish line in an compulsive attempt to run exactly one mile.
Samantha -- First Place. She might have been breathing the hardest of all the competitors and her leash almost slipped off of her head from being tugged. But the numbers don't lie. Her time was the fastest even if her pace was not.
Sammy Joe -- Still wondering why he went out for a walk and never got to poop.

Afterwards:
Jonathan, upset that he was DQ'ed, registered a protest because the race shirt had room for four legs, and he clearly indicated "human" on his entry form. He further protested the race by skipping the post-race party and heading directly to Jazz Fest in New Orleans.
The dogs were glad to participate in the competition, and considered themselves both winners because any day on the outside is a good day.

(5/11/08 EDIT -- OOPS, just found out Sammy Joe is a female. From my vantage point of tugging her the whole way, it wasn't immdiately obvious.)

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TDLY - rest

1 comment:

mccainiac said...

Very funny and well written! Whose dogs were they?